You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
