All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
