how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
