Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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