Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
