spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
