I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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