I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So much rum. So many feels.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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