Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
