PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
