Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
