So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
