How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
