next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
