i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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