The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
