you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize