her vagine was all disorganized.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
