As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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