bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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