Porn is love you can see.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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