Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize