mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
