You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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