My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
