apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize