thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
