she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
