just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
