No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
