You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize