This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Princesses don't give blow jobs
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
