He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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