You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
