So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
