I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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