well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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