Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
