Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
