Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
