Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
