dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize