How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
