Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
