You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
