dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
