Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
