I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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