making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
