they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
