Who did Billy Mays play for?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
