I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
and you fell through a lawn chair
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
