No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
