i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
