you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
