my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
