Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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