i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
