I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize