OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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