Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
