Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
