just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
