No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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