I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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