That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
