life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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