I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
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