We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
